Reality.

I like bleeding.

This is a strange thing to admit, but I feel it's right to talk about something that makes you happy. Bleeding makes me happy.

I can't exactly describe what it does for me, something about seeing my blood as useless instead of something that keeps me alive makes me feel content.

Sometimes I think... I'm not troubled, because I just want attention. That's all anybody wants, right? Attention. And I'm not talking about romantic love, I have that. I'm happy with that. It's everything else I'm craving. Friends, family. Especially family, my own family... And I hate that I crave that at such a young age.

But then I think, anybody who puts themselves through this kind of tormenting must be troubled, regardless of their intentions. Actually going through with it says a lot more about a person.

I'm watching this movie, it's called "The Good Girl," with Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal. It's a good movie. She questions her entire world, feels out of place. She begins an affair with Jake Gyllenhaal's character, but eventually she sees that he is too young, immature, and obsessive. Things got chaotic from there. She realizes at the end she was just using this boy as an escape from reality, and nobody can truly escape reality. Though apparently in the DVD version, her realization is that you can, in fact, escape reality.

So that's my question right now, can we? Can we escape reality?
And if we can... should we?

I haven't been making any more mistakes. I haven't been escaping. I'm done with it. I'm trying my best to make reality beautiful.