Update.

My best guy friend doesn't think his life is meaningful.
He doesn't think he's worth anything.

My best girl friend doesn't think she's special.
She doesn't think she's worth anything.

And I... don't think my presence is necessary.
I don't think I'm worth anything.


And I don't know what to do.
Maybe if there were more people I could relate to things would work out.


Also as an aside, Bon Iver... is stupid. I'm going to go right out and say his stuff is good if you're high out of your mind, but I really hope this hipster stuff gets done with real fast. But judging by the amount of uggs and flannel scarves I see everywhere, this is another one of those fads that is, unfortunately, here to stay.


And finally, I just can't wait to til Thanksgiving, when I can feel like life is normal.

In This Moment

Slow down to hyper speed
The rhythm of eternity
Mind reels into subconscious melody
From memory

Slow down to hyper speed
The pressure of eternity
Colors blur into phantasmal entity
From memory

I don't feel alive
In this moment
I don't believe
In this moment
And I am lost
Forever
In this moment

Ticking time into candy
Synthetic taste of destiny
Senses stalled into casual intimacy
From energy

Ticking time into candy
Sudden rush into destiny
Sound shocked into emotionless clarity
From energy

I don't feel alive
In this moment
I don't believe
In this moment
And I am lost
Forever
In this moment

End it all
In this moment
We will fall
In this moment
And God is lost
Forever
In this moment

Ripped apart, the crashing pause
Collides into unnecessary cause
And torn away
Space fades
In this moment

I don't feel alive
In this moment
I don't believe
In this moment
And I am lost
Forever
In this moment

End it all
In this moment
We will fall
In this moment
And God is lost
Forever
In this moment

I don't feel alive
In this moment

Hold On Just A Moment Longer

Hold on just a moment longer
Let the darkness take you
I promise it will be alright
I will not forsake you

Look up to the stars
See them, trust them
Memories fade
In headlights of cars

Hold on just a moment longer
Let the pain attack you
I promise it will be alright
I will come back for you

Look up to Heaven
See it, trust it
Details explained
In love forgotten

Hold on just a moment longer
Let them tell lies to you
I promise it will be alright
My faith resides in you

Look into my eyes
See them, trust them
Look away from love
Fear still remains
Inside wounded time.

Secrets Suck

When I see those words
My heart steadily breaks
To every syllable that validates insecurity

When I see that nothing
My head vividly dizzies
To every insignificant meaningful action

And no one knows this happens
That I'm so easily distraught
And I can't help it, I want to stop it

And I wish they knew this happened
So I'd never have to feel little
And I could believe everything I am told.

Grinding teeth down to happiness

Grinding teeth
Down to happiness
I was able to grow up today
I was able to give my life away
I made it somewhere I don't believe in.

I don't believe.

Grinding teeth
Down to happiness
I was able to move on today
I was able to give my love away
I gave it to someone I don't believe in.

I don't believe.

Grinding teeth
Down to happiness
I was able to end life today
I was able to give my heart away
I tossed it to the God I don't believe in.

I don't believe.
I don't believe.

I dare you.

A lizard lost in tongues
Waiting for the shoe to fall
In the corner she can't be
Line them up against the wall

Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger
Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger

Ramble in synchronicity
Waiting for the song to play
Where did all the love go to
There is no day but today

Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger
Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger

STOP! PAUSE! REWIND! K, Play.
No, FAST FORWARD! K, Play.

Because you don't control me
Pull the trigger baby
Go ahead, try to take me

Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger
Revolver to the head
I dare you
Pull, pull the trigger

Go ahead, try to take me
Go ahead, try to take me

Backfired because I'm already dead.

The Best He Ever Had

I found out 'round 9 o clock the yesterday
She wasn't in a steady state of mind
Drank too much her soul away
Shot up a quick escape
And that was all her story had to say

It happened 'round Saturday a week ago
He wasn't in a steady state of mind
Hot with sore testosterone
Wanted that girl to blow
So shoved it down her throat to choke that ho

Now she's dead
But that was an accident
Drugs and sex are just for fun
But the high was overdone
At least she was the best he ever had

Her parents found out after it was too late
They weren't in a steady state of mind
Claimed that stupid slut deserved
All that he gave to her
Her place in hell was already reserved

It happened today at the church on the square
He wasn't in a steady state of mind
Guests at the funeral scared
Of the man unprepared
To talk about the girl he didn't spare

Now she's dead
But that was an accident
Drugs and sex are just for fun
But the high was overdone
At least she was the best he ever had

Well come up and claim your prize, man, hurry
For ending such a pathetic life
Oh come now don't be worried
No one blames your fury
The devil deems a man like you worthy

Now she's dead
But that was an accident
Thank drugs and sex and his fun
He rid the world of the one
Sad girl who was the best he ever had

Now she's dead
But that was accident
Drugs and sex meant just for fun
But the high was overdone
Remembered as the best he ever had