Part 2: My fault

I grasped his hand and he grinned so brightly it made me want to cry at the supernatural kindness of it. We strolled through the halls showing our obvious connection to the tiny world we currently lived in: High school. A time when no adult can take anything that means something to you seriously, especially romance. Like any other teenage in love, I would defend my relationship to the death, knowing in my heart it was meant to last forever. There was no way it couldn't.

"How was English?" he asked me after a minute of walking in silence. The entwining of our fingers when we held hands was enough to make us feel completely connected even when we have no words to exchange. I know when we speak to each other it is because we are genuinely intrigued in what the other has to say.
"It was fine. We had to share our poems out loud, and you know how I feel about that." I rolled my eyes. If anyone knew, it was him.
"I'm sorry, but I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you thought." His thumb traced the back of my hand in reassurance.
"You've never seen how terrible my writing is."
"Since you're always doing it, it must not be so terrible. I wish you'd show me."
"Someday, Derek..." I said with no meaning. I would never share him the inner workings of my mind. Letting him know about my daily struggles was difficult enough, I didn't want to let him know everything.

This hour we had social studies together, sitting two rows away, but both 3 seats back from the front. We had a perfect field of vision to constantly make eye contact throughout the hour. We quickly kissed before heading into the room, slipping our hands away from each other. I couldn't help but feel less loved than I did just the moment before.

We had been dating about 8 months, and everything about that time had been awe-inspiring. I had transformed, no longer the depressed Christian girl I was entering a new school. Now the only thing I worshipped was our love, our relationship. As for the depression, it was subsided with feelings of love and belonging, two things I had craved my whole life.

We were watching some video on industrialization today, a perfect chance for Derek and I to make constant glances back and forth. I looked at him and saw him kiss the air. I smiled and winked, but found myself turning back towards the front. He was probably concerned, but he didn't realize I was perfectly content daydreaming. The only problem was, I wasn't thinking of him.