Love Died in the 1400's.
Setting: Coffee shop in Gas lamp district of San Diego
Time: Noon
Characters:
Brent – A sarcastic, witty, charming, scary, confusing, and loving, 17 year old vampire. He is the protagonist, and he is one that audience wants to root for but feels bad to do so.
Sarah: A stunningly gorgeous 17 year old girl, who enchants people with her presence.
() = Asides directly said to the audience and no other characters hear.
(Sarah): Hello. I am Sarah Morgan, a 17-year-old adolescent with lots of dreams. The biggest one? To kill one of the most vile creatures known to man. I’m sure that isn’t what you were expecting to hear. I’m a typical young lady with one unique quality: I slay vampires. I was brought up by my older sister. My parents died when we were little… murdered. Being so young, I didn’t understand the situation. I just remember that I when I wanted mommy and daddy, they weren’t there. However, I felt lucky to have my sister, regardless of her eccentric qualities. My sister, Belle, was obsessed with fantasy… but the not the Disney princess kind. No, she liked werewolves, incubuses, and vampires. Belle sworn she saw the demon who killed our parents. “This was not the work of a human,” she would say. “This is a far greater evil, greater than anything we’ll come to find in our mortal existence.” She was 16 while I was but 5 years old. She had to grow up and raise me at the same time. We lived on our own, running from location to location, never quite sure where we belonged. Through the course of her life, she was involved in self-dense classes, various forms of martial arts, and even a cage fighter when she was 19. She gathered information from her “sacred” books about the tools she needed to hunt and destroy these creatures she was fixated with and possessed by. She taught me fighting techniques, how to use weapons, and the best tactics for killing a vampire. I never thought it was normal, but I never protested. I had no one else. Belle was my only family, and I would not turn my back on the one constant in my life. I wanted revenge. I wanted to do the same dastardly deed to the thing that killed my sweet mommy and daddy. I kill any vampire, but the day I meet that particular one… Uhm, though my time mainly goes towards hunting and preparing for the day I face my parent’s killer, I do still go to school at whatever town I’m living in for the month or two. However I refrain from befriending others because I’m nervous somewhere down the line… I’ll have to kill them. And regardless of any feelings I have for them, I’ll kill those satanic monsters with no remorse, not even an ounce. (Changes tone) It’s definitely affected my love life, as I’m sure you could imagine. I’m growing tired of lonely nights spent hunting down bloodsuckers in grave yards with no one to enjoy their shrill screams with me or to come home to cuddle with after. I’m… desperate for a little romance. One night could be enough. For now, I have to keep myself grounded. No day dreams. I have to head over to the coffee shop for my usual afternoon kick of caffeine.
SARAH enters shop. BRENT GIRL ONE GIRL TWO and VENDOR are present
G2: Oh I’d take some vampire candy over that any day…
(S): And undoubtedly referring to Edward Cullen. Really? Girls these days. You know when all this Twilight nonsense started I thought, maybe vampires aren’t as intimating as Bram Stoker depicted them to be. But, trust me, one and one with a vampire isn’t the dreamy treat these teenagers imagine it to be.
S: Vampire candy? A real vampire would make you the candy, sweetheart. And he wouldn’t sparkle either.
G2: You trying to say he’d look just like him?
(SARAH looks at BRENT)
(S): He… He’s beautiful. (hesitating) In an unconventional way, at least…
G1: Yeah, vampires are pretty average if you ask me.
(S): Oh shut up you whinny little shrew.
B: Pshh…
(S): Is it just me or did that “pshh” sound a little cocky?
(SARAH stares at BRENT, notices both GIRLS are staring too)
B: What?
(GIRLS exit to get coffee. SARAH follows BRENT to his table)
(S): Maybe I should introduce myself? Here it goes.
S: Hey there. I’m Sarah. (Extends hand, BRENT stares at it but makes no attempt to shake her hand back)
(S): (Hand still up) Yep. This isn’t awkward at all… (BRENT still staring) Alright, that’s enough (throws hand down)
S: Do I know you? You actually look really familiar. Maybe I’ve seen you at school?
B: Uh, no. You’ve never seen me.
(S): Hmm. He seems to say that rather defiantly. Is there a reason why I haven’t seen him before? I need to know more…
S: Oh? And who is it that I’ve never seen? You must have a name.
(S): Ooh, smooth move Sarah!
B: Ah, sorry. (Laughs sexily) It’s Brent.
(S): Wow, his laugh is sexy. Damn.
S: Brent, I like that. Well, Brent (alluring) now that I know your name you can’t leave me. (Winks)
(S): Tell me, did I honestly just say THAT and WINK? Come on! What is that? (Looks back at BRENT, he’s staring at her, scaling his eyes up and down and stopping at all the right curves). Why is he staring at my body? He probably doesn’t want to hear me say one more word. I need to salvage this.
S: I’m just kidding… But I have to excuse myself for a moment while I buy a coffee. But I’d like to sit and talk to you a while.
B: Sounds wonderfu-ck. I can’t actually.
S: That’s too bad. (Looks like Brent is thinking while she says that and so she doesn’t really try and get his attention saying this)
(S): Screw this, I’ll just go for it.
S: Well, hey… Hmm, I don’t mean to be forward.
B: (Eager) No, please be forward. I like forward.
(S): That sounded a little stronger than I expected. I’ll just let that clinginess slide and laugh so he doesn’t feel strange. (Giggles infectiously)
S: How would you like to meet me tonight for a movie? There’s a zombie flick playing at a theatre just a few blocks away. Say about 7?
B: Uh…
(S): Oh no… I don’t handle rejection very well. I tend to use weapons. Ooh, ego! Quick, must attack his manhood.
S: Unless, you can’t handle a horror movie… (says in a challenging tone)
B: (Change in attitude) I’ll be there.
(S): Works like a charm.
S: Great. (Walks away looking back at him)
BRENT exits
(S): He’s intriguing… not like other boys I’ve met around here. I’m not afraid that I’ll have to kill him… This boy is completely human, I can assure you of that. No… I’m afraid that he’ll break my heart. That’s one tribulation I’ve never had to face. For this reason I resent having any emotions at all. I wish that I didn’t long for love while I long for death.
BLACKOUT.
Brent: Hey. My name is Brent Taylor. (Nod) Sup? I’m what people refer to as… monster, uhm… demon, killer, and uh… Ooh! Sexual deviant (wink and slight “Heh” laugh. Indicates hand gesture to move on to next name but hesitates) Bloodsucker… and (Depressingly) killer. (Light hearted) But most recently… uh, the worst of all names… Edward Cullen. I take on social norms of today’s age, so not to stand out. I’m a pretty regular guy… aside from the fact that I am inhuman and murder people 3 times a week (Nervous laugh and then a clap in front of his body as if it’s a twitch and also in a “let’s move on from this topic” manner) I keep to myself most of the time, alone in my, admittedly, kickass apartment in the San Diego Gaslamp District. Every time I “mingle with the mortals” (Say this in a “cool” dad kind of way… Pretending to be hip with the youngsters), things seem to go awry. I wasn’t much of a dater when I was human, and I’m definitely not now. Certain circumstances get in the way of romance. I keep waiting for her though. (Loving and hopeful) The woman who is my soul mate… (Reality sinks in, depressingly) Though, my soul is damned to Satan… (Suddenly optimistic) so I need to meet a girl destined to burn in the fiery pits of hell … (Sarcastic but believable) Just the idea of her makes me feel alive again. I… need coffee. Hot chicks tend to hang out at those joints these days.
B: Hey could I get just coffee black? Tall, please.
Vendor: No problem. That’ll be $3.71.
B: K. Thanks, man.
Enter girls
G1: Ah! OH EM GEE!
(B): (Explanatory) Typical teenage female exclamatory… (Longingly but sarcastic) I do miss the days when English was a beautiful language.
G1: You did not just say that! I can’t believe you just said that. Did you hear her just say that? (Brent taken aback by her being so in his face)
(B): (Sarcastically scared) It talked to me.
G2: Uh shut up! Don’t get him involved… he’ll probably be on your side and then I’ll feel dumb-ah!
G1: YOU ARE DUMB! I can’t believe you are still Team Edward!
B: (Loud sigh and shaking of head)
(B): Really?
G2: I can’t forget my eternal love for him just because Jacob has Abs!
G1: Whatever, it’s not just the body that makes me Team Jacob. He is fun, and a werewolf… werewolves are delicious.
B: (Look back at Vendor)
Vendor: Yeah, I don’t get it either.
G2: Oh I’d take some vampire candy over that any day…
B: (About to say something)
Enter SARAH, a strikingly beautiful girl also age 17.
S: Vampire candy? A real vampire would make you the candy, sweetheart. And he wouldn’t sparkle either.
(B): A woman who doesn’t defend Edward Cullen? (Eyebrow raise) Intriguing. (Turns to look at her) (Funny guy but serious) HOT DAMN, that’s a woman. (Sensitive) I mean… Wow. She’s… (As if he had never said this word before) beautiful.
G2: (Disgusted) You trying to say he’d just look like him? (Indicates Brent)
(B): I resent that. I’m no Greek god, but hey, I’m not too shabby. She’s just jealous.
G1: (mean tone) Yeah vampires are pretty average if you ask me. (Smiles because she’s please with herself)
B: Pshh…
(B): Damn it! I hope that “pshh” didn’t sound too cocky. I don’t want her to think I’m a total prick.
B: (Turns head and all girls are looking at him.) What?
GIRLS walk over to the VENDOR to get coffee and then proceed to sit down. SARAH follows BRENT to his table.
S: (Smiling brightly and charmingly) Hey there. I’m Sarah. (Extends hand)
B: (Looks down at hand… makes no approach to reach for it. After an awkward moment, Sarah puts her hand down.)
S: Do I know you? You actually look really familiar. Maybe I’ve seen you at school.
(B): Funny she mentions it… I’m actually pictured in a social studies textbook in a section about the Salem Witch trials. I sort of encouraged the persecution of “witches.” It was like… how Subway has those (sing) 5 dollar foot longs. (Remembrance and again talking) All that food for so little cost.
B: Uh, no. You’ve never seen me.
S: Oh? And who is it that I’ve never seen? You must have a name.
B: Ah, sorry (laughs sexily). It’s Brent.
S: Brent. I like that. Well, Brent… (Alluring…)Now that I know your name you can’t leave me (winks)
(B): I wouldn’t dream of it. (Checks her out)
S: I’m just kidding… but I have to excuse myself for a moment while I buy a coffee. But I’d like to sit and talk to you a while.
B: Sounds wonderfu-ck. I can’t actually.
(B): If I spend all too long talking to this girl while I’m... thirsty… My charms are going to kick in and she’s going to want to go back to my place. (Wink at a girl in the audience in front row or so and say improvisations like “Hey, you free tonight” then return to Brent’s story) But I… I like her. I don’t want anything bad to happen. (Love struck) She could be the one.
S: That’s too bad. Well, hey… Hmm, I don’t mean to be forward.
B: (Eager) No, please be forward. I like forward.
(B): Little too strong…
S: (Laughs infectiously)
(B): (Smiling) She thought it was funny.
S: How would you like to meet me tonight for a movie? There’s a zombie flick playing at a theatre just a few blocks away. Say about 7?
B: Uh...
S: Unless, you can’t handle a horror movie…
(B): (Eerily) Oh honey, you’re in one. (Nicer) And I’m sorry for that.
B: I’ll be there.
S: Great. (Walks away while looking over her shoulder)
BRENT leaves café. Standing outside.
(B): Part of me wants to kiss her and call her mine… while the other wants me to rid her of every last drop of blood. I need to quench my thirst before I see her. Uh, I usually murder in style, not quickly out of desperation. Things like this take time…
GIRLS appear
G1: Hey I’m this way, see you girl!
LEAVES
G2: Super… Hey you.
(B): Stake me.
G2: Want to walk with me?
(B): You know, I suppose I can make an exception to my stealth just this once…
(Smiles mischievously, exits with Girl Two)
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