Awake

I'm still awake.
And at this time, I'm afraid that I'll never understand unless I join the party.
Maybe all I have to do is take back a few drinks and socialize with people I never care to record to memory..
Because then I'll get it.
Then maybe my heart will stop hurting whenever people I love do the same thing.
Then maybe I'll see it's not what I thought.
Then maybe it'll be okay.


But this is just a thought.

I really, really, want one person to read my blog. I hope they do. I hope they avidly follow along and are captivated. Or concerned. Or pleased. I hope they feel something.