This writing thing... isn't natural for me. Though it is easier than breathing.
I don't know what I'm meant to do. Probably because no one is meant to do anything. I'm stuck believing I have a reason. It's a shame, really.
I did find that my reality was better than my dreams this last weekend. It gave me hope. That I'm on the right track. But even the closest I get to perfection is just shy, and there's room for improvement.
When I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to be a singer. I filmed myself yelling away paparazzi, having interviews about my latest album, and singing every word that popped into my head. Back then, no thought was needed. I just was, I just was.
I want that back. That fire, that drive. That knowing, that love. I lost it when I was 12. I remember the exact moment. I remember being discouraged.
I may not be the most talented writer, singer, designer, dancer, actress, model, artist, dreamer... But if I just had the confidence, maybe I could do something with it.
Maybe I could just be, I could just be.
And I'll peel away the old label, the one that says "Best if used by," hoping to reaffirm my faith in having no expiration date.
Brittany, you don't know me--you may know my name, because we went to the same high school--but you don't really know me.
ReplyDeleteYou'll never know who I am, but I'd like to apologize to you for an assumption I made about you, that after reading your blog I realize is terribly wrong.
You are a beautiful girl, and you always had the attention of the guys. I wished with every ounce of my heart that I could look like you, because then I could have the attention you received...and maybe my love would love me too then. I stereotyped based on your appearance and thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me because you were so pretty.
But after reading your inner thoughts, I see you are more down to earth than I realized. I too have a talent that I have been discouraged from pursuing and this post really spoke to me.
I don't know what you'll get out of this post, but I guess I want to say don't stop writing. You'll never know who might stumble across your blog with something to say.
Thank you for posting that comment. It made me cry. It also made me want to know who you are.
ReplyDelete