Dead Time

The time when all the worlds align. When ghosts can wander Earth in search for something to end their suffering.

I don't know about all that.

But I know I'm scared at this time. I'm awake, it's late, and I'm shaking. It's dark, and I want to turn on the lights but I can't move.

I'm alone. But I'm not.

I feel it here. Since I was a little girl, I saw these shadows that threatened to hurt me. I know that makes me sound crazy. But there's one here, a man, and I can't let him touch me.

But he does and I can't stop him.

I'm awake, it's late, and I'm shaking. He grabs my wrists hard, holds them above my head. I'm sinking into the bed. If only I could fall through, fall forever.

I need to be saved.

And I've waited my whole life for someone to take away the pain you caused me. To clean up the mess you made me. To heal the wounds you gave me.

That person will never come.

At least, until I realize that it's me. That I have to do that for myself. But right now, I don't think I have the strength. It's taking all my energy to stay alive, remember that life's worth living for all the moments I can't stop smiling. Those times when my mind seems to forget, for just a little while. When my heart is safe, my body feeling great, and my soul open to endless possibilities.

But how do I survive dead time?