Tick, Tick, Tick...



Here lies my thoughts, feelings, loves, woes, tales, truths, fears, and dreams. Writing has been a place for me to test my boundaries, experiment with everything people don't accept me to be in person. With text, I am free.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Part 4: Fast forward

Turn the page. A new life, a new beginning, a seemingly new me. Here I was in a new town, trying accept that this is what I have become. I sat in the front row of my Biology class, as I did in most of my classes because alphabetical order was a torture device. I wanted to be in the back, where I wouldn't feel people staring at the back of my head. I hated attention, but I needed it. I needed to be noticed, to be important, to be special. I couldn't believe it myself, so maybe hundreds of burning eyes in one school day would be enough to give me a wake up call. One can only dream.

My teacher seemed to relate to football more than biology. We were talking about evolution, something I was hesistant to learn about. Many ideas of evolution conflict with creationism, and I wanted to stay lost in that day dream. I didn't want to question what I have been given. A few wise cracks from jocks would interrupt the teaching session, and then Mr. D, I suppose he only felt he deserved one letter of his last name uttered, would continue on a rant about football strategies. Kill me.

One boy near me was very smart. I could tell because he knew everything before Mr. D explained it. He got this look on his face that said, I know the answer, come on, CHALLENGE me. I was determined to do better than him this whole semester. I wanted to be the smartest. I was used to being the smartest. A series of small towns and small schools can do that to a person. But now, in a school with 2000 beings I didn't care to meet, I knew that it would be much more difficult to be the best.

No comments:

Post a Comment