The idea that someone could ever envy me is the most boggling idea I've ever tried to understand. Yes, more complex than physics and changing sodas at the theatre. I guess it all goes back to the fact that I don't see what they see.
I see:
-A face that make-up sometimes help, but leaves me unsatisfied
-Crooked teeth
-Shy personality
-Nervous habits
-Too much skin
-Someone trying to hard to stand out in a crowd of a million
They tell me they see:
-Someone beautiful, "a thousand times out of their league"
-Always smiling
-Outgoing and a bit outrageous in casual conversation
-Confidence
-Thin
-Someone who stands out
...................................................................
I wish I felt comfortable. I have my moments, but really I think it's because I'll never be able to do what I yearn for...
I want to sing. It sucks when you're not good enough.
It makes you feel like you can't be good enough for anything... when you're not good enough to do what you love most. How am I supposed to ever feel confident?
"Open up the holes in my hand, feel the wall crack once again."
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