I think there's less than a handful of people right now who are happy with me. That's okay. I'm learning I can deal because I'm bettering myself, my life. If they don't want me to be happy, then they don't need to be a part of my life. Easy. Well, no, not really all that simple... It is definitely that stab and twist feeling, but alas, that's how life goes.
Yesterday in Shakespeare discussion we had the best argument... Whether or not Romeo and Juliet's love was based upon appearance and lust and never amounted to anything beyond superficial, or if their love transcended through the superficiality into something true.
I was appointed the side that they were in love.
Some of the pieces of evidence from the opposing side:
Romeo just before was "in love" with someone else.
Their love was quick.
He often spoke of Juliet's beauty.
Benvolio mocks Romeo for falling for beauty.
Mercutio calls Romeo a lover, like he falls in love with love.
They are so young, especially Juliet.
Romeo makes a sexual remark to Mercutio about Juliet, making her seem less meaningful.
Evidence from my side:
Just because their love amounted quickly does not evidently lessen their romance.
In the balcony scene, Romeo makes it clear the only satisfaction he wants is Juliet's faithful vow, not a lustful proposition.
*They wait until their wedding night to engage in sex, an ultimate task of physical interest and want for satisfaction.
*Also during the balcony scene, Juliet tells Romeo it's too quick and too rash, meaning she's thinking things through.
Romeo was out of love with Rosaline and didn't do anything, but when he was out of love with Juliet he committed suicide. Granted, Juliet had died, not broken up with him, it's still something to look at.
When Romeo is exiled, Juliet does not speak ill of him. She still loves him without being able to see him.
*The commit to each other in every way possible, faithful vow, marriage, consummation, and death.
*They show their eternal devotion through their joined suicide. Both could not live without the other.
*Love cannot be limited. Juliet says the more she has the more she gives, for both are infinite. Love doesn't need a certain amount of time or a certain age.
*Lastly, in death they are together forever without the conflict of reality, showing love expels all boundaries.
*I starred the ones that I came up with, but the rest were group members.
We had our long debate and at the beginning, everyone (but me) believed that Romeo and Juliet didn't truly love each other. At the end, a lot of people were convinced that they did, others just convinced that there's no way to really know. So many interpretations... Ah, literature.
But at the end of class as well, everyone just kind of looked around and said.. "Wow, that was amazing." We did a justice to his work by our discussion. It was remarkable the amount of textual evidence with every claim, and the amount of passion behind people's words.
But what's more tragic... two lovers' ending their lives because of the harshness of the situations around them, or two young people who thought they were in love, and ended their lives over something that never really existed in the first place?
Meow kitty frar.
I'm sure there's more I want to type.
On the topic of love, I hate it when people who've never experienced it, preach it. Kind of like how Theseus in A Midsummer Night's Dream, though he claims he's in love (dude, you won you're girl through a battle at war, not through a battle of the heart), constantly talks down to the young lover's and claims that lovers, lunatics, and poets are all the same. You know, I'm all three of those things, and I see the connections. Obviously. But love doesn't have to be reasonable to be present.
But anyways, these people question me... If you break up with someone, you can't be sad about it. If you break up with someone, you never loved them. Duh. Actually, no... that's not how it works. To quote a friend, "You can't just flip a switch and suddenly you don't care about someone." I'm sad about it. Very sad. And I'd like to claim my right to be. And I love him, so don't ever question that. Sometimes a relationship needs more than just love to work, and being selfish and wanting to depend on a relationship for everything isn't really loving someone. It's using them.
Romeo and Juliet, they were a bit obsessive, yes. But they always thought of the other first. Romeo did end up killing Tybalt but it took a lot to finally get him to do it. He made a bad move, and Juliet forgave him. They didn't just love each other, they also put each other before everything else and that is why their fate was what it was.
In modern times and true reality, it's not quite as theatrical. But sometimes you have to make choices you don't completely want to make in order to be fair. In order to follow your heart. In order to do what is best. Oh yes, it's all subjective. It's all so messy... But if you've never been in love and if you've never had your heartbroken, it's not as easy to understand.
And let me tell you, falling in love and experiencing magic, and out of love and experiencing heartbreak... it's living. It's the most fascinating part of living.
What else can I write about?
Oh, I'm kind of sick of people also saying mrow, schmer, frar, and schtuff. I don't know why it's just kind of annoying. But not a huge deal.
What I'm really sick of though, is feeling like a lot of people won't just let me live my life. I want it to be solely mine, I hate other people getting involved... which is the main reason for a lot of choices I've been making recently.
At the same time, there are moments where I want someone there to be involved and be on my side. Unfortunately, I can't really find anyone to do that. I thought I had, but situations have proven that's not the way it goes. What's lame is I would do that for them.
I feel pretty okay. It's been a crazy sort of week. But I'm ready to just move on with my life and stop beating myself up over everything.
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