Rah rah ah ah ah ah

I hate it when people act like they are superior to everyone around them, and then directly claim that they are the exact opposite. It's just so obnoxious. I know I'm not guilty of it because a lot of times I don't go on about my opinion unless it's with my absolute closest friends, and with them I always feel like I'm inferior because I'm not as intelligent.

I don't know why but it just bothers me when somebody thinks so much of themselves. I think it's great to love yourself, and to think you're great, but to act like you are better than other people is when it crosses a line.

Other thoughts right now... I think life will be okay. I think things will work out. I'm trying to make decisions that will lead me to being a writer/fashionista/actress/awesome being... And I feel pretty pained in some ways, but then hopeful in others.

Oh. Another thing. I can't stand people who don't have relationship experience. Why? Because they cannot relate to what it feels like on either side of the fence when things are perfect and when things end... and then they make assumptions. Stupid assumptions. Love is complex. Love is crazy. Love is illogical. And sometimes, no matter how much love you have for someone... they aren't the one. Yes, I believe in the one. Yes, that's probably pathetic. No, I will not give up that dream.

Umang, this guy my sister is dating, is super cool. He was the one who really got me thinking today. And together he and my sister made me have a realization... I am desperately afraid of saying and doing things that hurt people, because then I decide that I'm a bad person, and being a bad person means that I'm worthless. And therefore, I constantly consider myself worthless. And I stay worthless when I do things like cut myself because I hurt people around me when I do that... and the cycle continues. I'm ready to stop all that.

And... if outside people have a problem with the way I live my life... too bad. Why? Because I'm seeing that even though people tell me certain emotions I feel and certain things I do are WRONG... doesn't mean they are. That's completely subjective. No one has that right over me... and I want to live my life for me. I want to be happy. I can't continue constantly using other people for happiness.