Here lies my thoughts, feelings, loves, woes, tales, truths, fears, and dreams. Writing has been a place for me to test my boundaries, experiment with everything people don't accept me to be in person. With text, I am free.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
MEOW.
I feel like the spawn of the devil. I feel like I suck. I feel like I'm undeserving of everyone and everything.
And that's exactly my problem.
I'll be unhappy forever at this rate. Must. Start. Making. Changes.
I recently concluded that to be happy when you get into a rut where the tendency is toward... darker thoughts and emotions, you have to act happy. Which is hard as hell. And I dont know where to start either. But if you act happy, thats good for the people around you, and when youre helping others and not hurting them, it may be rough and whatever, but you tend to feel better about yourself. And anybody worth a damn appreciates someone who helps others. And plus, if you act happy, it can become a habit. Basically, step one is to act happy and just do all the things that have become hard to do. But then again, maybe im just talking about myself and it has no bearing on you. I don't know.
But I do know that if you feel like everything's futile and nothing will help you, then nothing will. Do what's hard; go for the longshots. Thats what im trying to do. Trying really hard. Because my rut is already big enough.
I recently concluded that to be happy when you get into a rut where the tendency is toward... darker thoughts and emotions, you have to act happy. Which is hard as hell. And I dont know where to start either. But if you act happy, thats good for the people around you, and when youre helping others and not hurting them, it may be rough and whatever, but you tend to feel better about yourself. And anybody worth a damn appreciates someone who helps others. And plus, if you act happy, it can become a habit. Basically, step one is to act happy and just do all the things that have become hard to do. But then again, maybe im just talking about myself and it has no bearing on you. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteBut I do know that if you feel like everything's futile and nothing will help you, then nothing will. Do what's hard; go for the longshots. Thats what im trying to do. Trying really hard. Because my rut is already big enough.