Maybe I'm Ridiculous

But a little romance never killed anyone. I'm desperate for a "swept off my feet" moment that "takes my breath away." I don't care how much people don't believe in love anymore. I hate sitting here working on this cutesy present realizing that I'm one of those people who believe every love song means it lasted forever and every Disney story is as true as the sky is blue.

I love grand gestures. I love showing someone you love them, because sometimes no matter how often you say it, it doesn't come across. I've written out 500 things I love about someone in the past. I've written songs. I've let them in to all the dark places of my mind. I've let them in to my heart and they knew it.

Now my heart is still there. It broke once, and I had to piece it together. Another time it was violently scratched, I wasn't sure it was going to make it. But, alas, the scars of old wounds still visible, but my heart is intact. In fact, I don't have it right now. I gave it away again. No matter the hurt that keeps coming, I don't hold onto it. I'm hoping to gain another in return, actually. In the past all I've gotten is bits and pieces, and I must say I'm ready for the whole thing.

I like courtship. I like the idea of love seeming like a prize rather than a game or even a burden. I like the idea of being someone's everything. That's why I live my life that way... love is first. Always. It's unconditional. It's unfaltering. I'm working on making it last forever.