I don't understand. I have all these people I see so often. They say they care so much about me, and I return the sentiment. I say I love them. But yet here I am, crying, and feeling that I'm not close with anyone. I have certain people I contacted, told them I'm upset. Yet, I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
Honestly, in this moment I don't understand why anyone would even give me anything. Why would they offer love or acceptance to a low-life like me? I'm pathetic.
I want to shower off my bad qualities. I want to scrape at my skin until I see bone.
I want to get out of this place. The literal surroundings and the figurative state of mind.
My sister told me to scream today since I've never done it. I couldn't.
No one can help me but me. I'm fucked.
I get this... in my own way, I feel the same sometimes. Aluta Continua--the struggle continues
ReplyDeleteyou are NOT fucked. No matter if you believe its true, there is at least one person who loves you, and I should know because I do ;) you are my friend, now and forever. If you could only see what I see you'd realize how not-fucked you are.
ReplyDeleteps--I scream into my pillow a lot. cause. i'm cool and angsty like that.
you guys are both lovely.
ReplyDelete